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genius never sleeps [Oct. 14th, 2010|08:50 pm]
an all too convincing sleep

genius eats leftovers
from greasy-cardboard-chinese food container
wipes mouth

genius sits and ponders
in awe and contempt

compulsively rereads
said works of genius
longing for recognition


reject of society,
desperate for that eye

sneers at the thought of snivel
dripping from those overcast mouths

the shit this whole place is covered in
and "you" can't even get a single piece published

an otherwise empty room

and wait.


wait for death to come
and for that inquiring mind to stumble
upon the works of intrigue
the works of an imbued misfit


wonder at word sense
debate meaning and influence
come to your own conclusions

stifle the voice twice over
a mute aptitude
a sorry detail under that continually scrutinizing lens


and just when no one listened
when the last well-worded letter of
"sorry, we can't use your work...."
appears in that same self addressed envelope

you push your glasses to meet the bridge of your nose
avert your eyes
and pause


the cold suicide note stiff in hand
the delicate twists of all those penned letters
ink brushed
ink smudged
ink fade-to-white


now pen fails


you dreamt they'd find you in those scrawled letters
on pages swept in unexplained urgency

they'd maybe decipher the distinctions in mood,
in age,
in fervency


you're the only fool
who looks at you



the only damn fool who wishes to know what you're thinking


the only damn fool who wants to be included in those infinite details


and when those eyes close,
for that last time

that ink-trail existence
that fanatical amalgamation
will be, so blotted,

by that insistent rain
the impartial, erasing rain
Linkpress your lips to my ear

oddity [Sep. 22nd, 2010|02:56 pm]
peculiar dream last night: jupiter was closer to earth than ever before and we'd be able to see it clearly....i was on the beach at night, not sure with who and i see in the sky this planet looking thing, it's getting closer and closer and on it, clearly demarked, is a weird reptile thingy, the outline of some unknown reptile....the shape keeps kinda changing as the ball gets nearer, then i hear from someone "don't you know about reptile moon" ....this thing all of a sudden started to jettison to the earth and we started to run, our shit went up in flames, from the flames a doglike creature escapes and it's oddly sentient....i'm scared and all of a sudden in my basement and i'm feeding it paper, then it sorta disappears and in it's place is this human like thing and i'm talking with "her" she has short short very brassy thin hair sorta blonde, face i don't remmeber too much but it was very human the hands however were odd short fingers, 4, and they were sorta 2 pointing to the left and 2 to the right, i remmeber comparing with her and holding my hand up to her, then i started feeding her paper because i was frightened for some reason then she was like why do u keep feeding me this stuff i want meat, and i'm thinking i don't eat/cook meat...then i thought maybe she wants to eat me....so we go upstairs to find something and then all of a sudden she's gone and there's just this alien couple and they also want food, the difference is they were totally human and they're here to stay, i find this out....the girl is really weird she has cross eyes and sorta spaces out all the time....this is all i remember

in another dream boris was going to meet iwth his ex she texted him and then igot to talk with her on the phone and she was telling me they met before she left in LIC and then she's like if you can put up with him then you should be with him....i don't know what the hell
Linkpress your lips to my ear

(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2010|08:13 pm]
part of my dream was that i was swimming in some sort of apparatus with this other person, we were both male and he wanted something that i had so i cut him loose and had to swin to the shore of LA with these weird floats and once i got there i was in this weird place and i dodn't know what it was but there was this young boy there and i think i embodied his consciousness and he had a camera and i don't remember much else now i think he was waiting for his father....i also remmeber sitting somewhere and there were a few of us there i think we were squatting but i don't know and i rmemeber eating something....it's all very vague now...the most vivid part is still me riding my bike really really fast down ocean ave to get somewhere and i got stopped by this dude with a van just as i'm about to get where i gotta go and he's like "oh all hipsters wear blah blah" i'm like "please! you're a hipster i'm 3rd generation brooklyn, where are you from" he said LA and i said well that's acceptable....then we started talking he had a lot of tattoos and he reminded me of dustin because of this sob story he wastelling me....in the mean time we were in some office and met a lady who had another sob story and i was like oh i'll chant for you and then it turns out she was part of our group and had been at one of the meetings....then i was back in australia and there was this italian girl staying here who was trying to learn enlgihs and i was trying to help her and there was a pond in the front gated off by a metal gate and a note saying that they wanted to get rid of it and i was really upset cause it was so nice....this is all jumbled...i rmemembered it much more before....7/7/10
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because i am crazy i can say the words you forget to say [Apr. 24th, 2010|11:10 am]
the components of eloquence that drift by
atop the wide-open stream

you lay in bed and forget
wait for the train and ignore
walk home and dance around--

wait anxiously for
and never come
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me, i'm my only handicap... [Apr. 24th, 2010|11:08 am]
the all time stifler of imagination
i remember being swallowed whole
sitting firmly in the so called "belly of the beast"
propping up my umbrella
laughing at the irony
and waiting for unprecedented rain
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my sisters friend just told me [Apr. 22nd, 2010|09:30 pm]
: ' "jamie," you're going to live forever, you're like some kind of prophet or something"

oout of no where...strange....
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words of wisdom [Apr. 22nd, 2010|06:12 pm]
"Why are you always so happy da?"

"sometimes i'm happy about nothing...sometimes i'm sad about a lot of things [everything]....it's a balancing act jaim" - butch
Linkpress your lips to my ear

(no subject) [Apr. 22nd, 2010|06:11 pm]

-----Original Message-----
From: theshowyfish@aol.com
To: madetoruin@aol.com
Sent: Sat, Apr 17, 2010 9:37 am
Subject: Re:

i guess your best bet would be to find fossils of the modern dy species that weere the same relative age as the edtinct [extinct] ones that they supposedly evolved from...but even then...there would be too many holes...

-----Original Message-----
From: madetoruin@aol.com
To: theshowyfish@aol.com
Sent: Sat, Apr 17, 2010 9:33 am
Subject: Re:

any or all....mainly the fact that this evolved from this this and that
-----Original Message-----
From: theshowyfish@aol.com
To: madetoruin@aol.com
Sent: Sat, Apr 17, 2010 9:28 am
Subject: Re:

what part of it...in fvor of creationism?....the whole earth being 4.6 billion years old?...the part about "only the fit survive?"

...glad to see that you were pondering this at 230 am-----Original Message-----
From: madetoruin@aol.com
To: theshowyfish@aol.com
Sent: Sat, Apr 17, 2010 2:32 am

i have an odd question but...do u think it's possible to ever disprove the theory of evolution ?
Linkpress your lips to my ear

the missing fragments [Mar. 28th, 2010|09:30 pm]
and so, what i meant to say was that
amongst the lavender,
while, bats hang blithely and
the swarthy faced bar keeper stairs at the
towns edge where the mountain plunges into the valley

i lost my sense of direction
i was intent upon the highest form of articulation
and failed

i thought, i could use words like "campanese"
and describe feelings like the town drunk drinking amaro mixed with compari


it's amazing how grace comes only naturally and spontaneously
Linkpress your lips to my ear

journey to the other place... [Jan. 18th, 2010|10:17 am]
1-strange "spaceship" ride with a stranger to a strange place. a seemingly open ship, me on something like back to the future hoverboard, but smaller...flying over a city with a companion. realizing that the craft itself wants us to get lost and not remember our way back. we manage to land somewhere strange and immediately we know what we have to do we need to get into the cave/room where some sacred item is kept. we get there but there's someone who is trying to stop us so we lock himorher in a seeming bathroom and we unvail this "treasure" and it's supposed to unlock some secret mystery or like the knowledge of life whatever either way we realize it's incomplete and we need to put one more stone in...i think we got interupted...i don't remember much else.

2-birdy walks! and he walks up the stairs!

3-strange weird leaf creature crawling under kitchen table, i try to kill it and it pops like a bean pod and then ivy explodes out of it's body and crawls up the wall i was frantic to stop it i ripped it off, afraid of touching it and threw it in the garbage...

4- don't remmeber much of this one but i was outside waiting for something on some city avenue on a lawn chair waiting for someone to love me that's really all i remember
Linkpress your lips to my ear

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